Wait, you mean in front of PEOPLE?

Posted: July 6, 2009 in Uncategorized

So “The Human Baby” (don’t ask) forwarded me an email that there’s an open audition in a few weeks at a place called The Speakeasy for a spoken word.  Five minutes of anything.  A story.  What do I tell?  Do I do it?  What if I suck? THEY’RE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT ME.  Wait, hopefully.  I have a story that is 100% true and 100% hilarious, but it’s pretty ribald.  I keep thinking, “The worst that could happen is I get humiliated and come home and hang myself while masturbating.”  That helped.  I need to get my head together and put it into English.  Mostly English. Fuck it, I’ll do it in Swahili. It’ll be like performance art.   MORE LIKE PERFORMANCE FART, AM I RITE?*

*no, I do not speak Swahili

  1. Stupidman says:

    So you’re saying that the beautiful language of Swahili sounds like farts…. racist monster.


  2. Mandi says:

    Do it.


  3. Mo!!y says:

    This is a great opportunity for utilizing your audience for more than momentary attention. Wear that shirt I made you that says, “Painfully Alone” across it. The ladies really drop trou for that troubled emo shit.


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