So the weather has been fuckballs weird here this summer, apparently. It’s like we’re living on an island. Shit, we are living on an island. You know what I mean. 86 degrees and rainy for two hours and then it stops. Thunderstorms and lightning all over the place. So I was going to go to Ivan’s Rolling Rock promo again, but it was coming down pretty good, so I wussed out. As I walked home, I stopped by Carmine’s Pizzeria and got a Philly Cheese Steak slice and a Boylan Root Beer and I pass by my next door neighbor’s windowHOLY SHIT THAT’S A PENIS. He’s lying on his couch, reclined in the most relaxing pose, facing away from the window; just naked as he was the day he was born. Watching a TV with his computer AV hookup to it with Windows open. Not masturbating. Not watching porn. Just naked. Watching an unmoving desktop. And before you ladies (and Stupidman) get too excited, he looked something to what I’d imagine DJ Qualls would look like naked. Oh, wait, here we go.
Yeah, so the most entertaining part, I’d have to say, was sitting with MY window open. Masturbating. No. (you wish)
People’s reactions as they walked past ranged from shock to hilarity to disgust to confusion to AJKHFUEIYVDUGFYEUVY*&V#VBDV!!!!!!!!! Boopy Doo came home not long after all that and was somewhat disappointed to miss the show. I love this town.