Posted: September 3, 2009 in Uncategorized

For those of you close to me, this won’t come as a HUGE surprise.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m HIGHLY oral retentive.  Once again, big surprise.  I eat a lot, I’ve been known to bite my fingernails, I have a hard time quitting smoking and…I bite.  Not in the sexy way (well, actually that’s true), but I like to bite stuff.  I try not to bite people in general, but I always have an urge to bite something (don’t be gay, Stupidman).  Yes, I’m well aware this makes me a freak, and no, your furniture or possessions are not in danger around me (or your well-being), but man, do I love biting stuff.  Gum just doesn’t do it for me, I don’t know why.  I think it’s because it’s not the chewing, it’s the actually biting part.  I like crunchy and crispy food and I love stuff that crackles.  Now, it’s also how I show affection on occasion.  I’ve been known to bite a pretty lady, but never enough for it to cause pain (plus, come on, I used to date goths, you don’t think once or twice it wasn’t requested?).  Maybe I’m like a banana slug. I should’ve gotten into the rave scene, then a pacifier wouldn’t be so weird.

No, not Animal, you monkeys.

No, not Animal, you monkeys.

  1. Stupidman says:

    Well, with those mandibles of yours, how can you not want to bite stuff. You not biting stuff would be like John Holmes joining a monastery. You’ve been given a gift, man. Now you only have to decide if you will use it for good, or for awesome.


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