For those of you close to me, this won’t come as a HUGE surprise. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m HIGHLY oral retentive. Once again, big surprise. I eat a lot, I’ve been known to bite my fingernails, I have a hard time quitting smoking and…I bite. Not in the sexy way (well, actually that’s true), but I like to bite stuff. I try not to bite people in general, but I always have an urge to bite something (don’t be gay, Stupidman). Yes, I’m well aware this makes me a freak, and no, your furniture or possessions are not in danger around me (or your well-being), but man, do I love biting stuff. Gum just doesn’t do it for me, I don’t know why. I think it’s because it’s not the chewing, it’s the actually biting part. I like crunchy and crispy food and I love stuff that crackles. Now, it’s also how I show affection on occasion. I’ve been known to bite a pretty lady, but never enough for it to cause pain (plus, come on, I used to date goths, you don’t think once or twice it wasn’t requested?). Maybe I’m like a banana slug. I should’ve gotten into the rave scene, then a pacifier wouldn’t be so weird.