Shame and Vulnerability

Posted: November 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

I posted this video on my Facebook recently after Coryboo posted another lecture by Brene Brown in Texas.  I feel like just posting it isn’t really enough for me to get WHY I posted it.  There are more than a few points that she brings up that speak to me.  Shame, vulnerability, numbing, the direction that this country is taking.  It’s a hot topic in the SPINE house and with quite a few of my other friends.  I’ve never considered myself politically active, but it’s damn hard to not see what’s happening.  Especially when it comes to some of the things I believe in (which is another hot button with me right now and figuring out WHAT it is that I believe in, it seems to be changing).  Didn’t it seem that even five or ten years ago, that atheism was somewhat of an accepted belief?  This morning, I passed a television with a NEWS REPORT of a four year old boy who said he saw heaven on the operating table.  This was news.  And the tagline?  “HEAVEN IS REAL.”  I’m not kidding.  So let me get this straight.  A four year old says he saw heaven, so that means it’s real?  When did we become so scared again.  Not as individuals, which we are, but as a nation.  When did we go BACK to being the huddled masses and stop being people?  When did racism and sexism become accepted norms again?  I’m not talking about used to shock for comedic value, because it doesn’t even do that anymore.  It’s become an ACCEPTED WAY OF THINKING.  That different is bad.  I don’t think the real point of the video was directed at the nation, but it’s in there.  I’ve lately been thinking a lot about what I want out of life (again).  I think I’m still figuring it out.  And it frightens me not that I haven’t found it in the past 36 years, but that I don’t think I’ve really been looking.  The numbing issue is another big one.  I see that in the general populace, but I see it in individuals firsthand and it’s prevalent.  It seems like people are afraid to feel.  I do it myself, too.  I can’t figure out how I feel, so I find something to do.  Sorry that this post isn’t my typical upbeat, zany something or other, but this is where my mind is today.  Tomorrow, I’ll probably want to write about The Walking Dead.  Today, I’m thinking about how I want my life to be.  I think I’m pretty happy, but I want more.  I want more out of life.  I can see there is more and I want it.  I found out my admission to CUNY has been reviewed and I should receive a letter in the next two weeks.  Or that’s what the lady on the recording said.  I’ve also been thinking a lot about relationships.  Romantic and otherwise.  That’s a slippery slope right now.  I think I’m best off keeping that light.  That I’m pretty sure about.  I definitely need to keep the writing going.  I got a nice message from a high school friend, Dawn, the other day, complimenting me on my Facebook status messages.  Kind of out of left field, so it caught me off guard.  And K-town asked today why I haven’t blogged and so did Momo.  Good question.  There’s no good, real answer, so why not?  Other than fear that I may not say something of TOTAL VITAL IMPORTANCE TO EVERYONE.  Pfah.  It’s my blog, right?  Stay tuned tomorrow for my Walking Dead review. 😉

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